Is it just me or are we all feeling lost in the winter blues lately? As a therapist myself, I spend most of my days reminding my clients of their own coping skills. I want to normalize the reality of what this looks like in our busy worlds. 

I am the first person to suggest to people to use their strengths and toolbox to help guide them through the dark days. When it comes to our own dark days, boy is that difficult! 

Someone said to me recently, “I have never regretted going for a walk,” and that really stuck with me. How often have we regretted slowing down our evening to spend more time with loved ones, or scheduling 30 minutes into our day for a hot bath?

How often do we regret nourishing our bodies with food that feels good to us? Listening to our favorite songs? Taking time for our favorite hobby? Calling our best friend? 

The thing is, we almost never regret it, yet it can be so hard for us to intentionally make time for these tasks. So often we become overwhelmed by our emotions that we engage in quite the opposite of what makes us feel good. 

We feel stressed, so we binge. We feel isolated, but we don’t reach out in fear of rejection. We feel sad, so we sit. We feel angry, so we avoid. We feel hurt, so we shut down. These are all things that ALL of us do. And we do it so often out of habit, rather than choice. 

When I sit with people in therapy, I don’t often hear that people who are stressed want to eat until they feel sick. I don’t hear from people who feel isolated that they want to isolate themselves more, or people who feel angry that they  don’t want to resolve the situation somehow. 

I often sit with people who experience regret on how they cared for themselves, and this regret turns into guilt or shame. 

When we are all lacking sunshine, lacking connection, lacking motivation, it is essential that we are intentional about our self-care. (Easier said than done, I know.)

I want you to take a moment and think to yourself, who knows you best?

It’s you. You know what you feel. You know what you’ve experienced. You know what your strengths are. 

As a therapist, it is my job to sit presently with people and help them acknowledge, accept and recognize their strengths. The truth is, we all have them. 

Each client I see already has them. They already have the tools to be successful at whatever goals they want to achieve. It just takes work to find them and use them in a way that is helpful, purposeful and intentional. 

I challenge you to look at your daily schedule. Now, think about what in your life you would want to change. What in your life is taking up space/time and is no longer fulfilling its original purpose?

Maybe it’s time to let go of that particular practice, obligation, or whatever it happens to be. How can you replace that thing with something purposeful?

Schedule self-care. 

As a therapist, I have to schedule it, or I know it is not going to happen. Sometimes I even have to make myself do it, especially on my dark days. 

Just recently, I was having a day where I knew that I needed to do something intentional. It was hard to just get up. When I did, I made myself a hot cup of tea, turned on the bath, lit a candle, and put on a face mask. I did not regret it. 

If you take anything away from this, take this: You are capable of hard things. You’ve done it before, and you will get through it again. You are strong enough for whatever you’re facing, and you are not alone. Be intentional. Be you. Because you deserve it.

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