School bells are ringing, the back-to-school shopping is done, and the backpacks are fully loaded for a new year.
You’ve done all you can to prepare your child for the material demands of the school year, but you might be wondering, “How do I support them when they’re stressed or anxious about school?”
Anxiety is a natural stress response. The body signals that something is off, urging us to pay attention and take action. In many ways, anxiety can be protective. It helps us to navigate challenging situations with caution.
For your child, that might look like navigating difficult relationships with classmates and friends. Perhaps pre-test anxiety motivates them to study diligently and prepare better.
This type of stress or anxiety can be normal. Most, if not all, of us experience it at some point. You might even remember experiencing it when you were in school.
However, when anxiety becomes chronic or overwhelming, it can interfere with our daily lives, relationships, and overall well-being.
How do you support your child when they experience stress or anxiety this school year?
- Be a safe space, or provide a safe space, for your child. Have you ever heard the phrase, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care”? Sometimes all your child needs is a listening ear, not judgement or an attempt to fix the situation. Don’t take it personally or assume you’ve done something wrong if you’re not the safe person they always come to. No matter how supportive and encouraging a parent is, sometimes children just need an outside party they can talk to. That could be a counselor or therapist, mentor, pastor, or older sibling or cousin. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything about you, your child or your relationship.
- Make sure their basic needs are being met. If you can provide for your child’s most basic needs—food, water, a safe environment—to the best of your abilities, then other areas of life might feel less overwhelming for them. Your home and daily environment can be a soft and safe place for them to return to at the end of the day.
- Let them rest. Your child might be involved in various activities, sports and organizations. These can be important and formative experiences for your child, but don’t forget to help them prioritize rest. This could look like a designated rest day for the entire family where you all take a break from work and extracurricular activities. For older children, consider setting a timer for study breaks where you go for a walk together or prepare a snack for them.
- Prioritize fun! So much of school is preparing children to join the workforce one day. While that’s important, life is so much more than the work we do. Help your kid to discover their hobbies and what feels fun to them outside of school, work, sports, etc. This could look like having their friends over once a month or quarter, or maybe you have them join a youth group at church. This could also mean encouraging a new hobby that interests them, even if it’s something you’re not completely interested in.
- Remind them where their worth really comes from. So much of the negative mental load we carry can come from a misplaced identity. We mistakenly think who we are comes from how well we do in school, whether or not we won a game or aced a performance, or how someone reacts to the news we share. If you can instill in your child now that their worth is in who God says they are, then you can hopefully set them up for a life rooted in faith.
Each day might bring new challenges for your child this school year, but that doesn’t mean all of these challenges have to cause stress or anxiety. The best thing you can do for your child is support them and help them to see the bigger picture. While school is important, life is so much more than school—and you’re here to support, encourage and love them every step of the way.
Navigating stress might be an ongoing process for you and your child. That’s ok. Each day can look different. We have more free resources available to help you better understand anxiety, so you can support your child and yourself well:
