Marriage can be hard. It takes work and intentionality. Sometimes in marriage people feel that they have lost the “spark” that they once had, they are no longer on the same page and seem to be pulling away from one another. Even when there seems to be no way forward, there is always hope. You can repair and revitalize your marriage.
How to Apologize:
Apologizing can be hard, but it is necessary and its definitely part of a successful, lifelong marriage. How we apologize can have an impact on the other person’s ability to move forward in the relationship. A simple, “Well, I’m sorry” probably isn’t going to do much. It is important to be genuine and sincere by taking responsibility for your own actions, identifying how you can make things right and taking action to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Sincere apologies help repair relationships and facilitate healthy communication.
Tips for Repairing & Revitalizing Your Marriage:
1. If you’re feeling like you’re in a tough spot, commit to praying with and for each other first and foremost. It’s really difficult to stay mad at someone when you’re humbling yourself before the Lord and inviting Him into your marriage.
2. Take responsibility for your behavior or contribution to the conflict (even if it was only 5%), and apologize for anything that you may have said or done. Likewise, learn to forgive.
3. Remember that actions speak louder than words, so follow that apology up with matching behavior.
4. LISTEN more than you speak, repeat back what you heard your partner say and put yourself in their shoes. Acknowledge how they feel, even if you don’t agree.
5. Ask your partner what’s important to them and share what is important to you. Then, come up with some ideas to work on together.
6. Be respectful and honest with one another.
7. Remember to have fun and laugh together. Schedule date nights, attend a class and plan a weekend away. Invest in your marriage now so that you don’t have to invest in a divorce later.
Today, commit to improving your behavior. You can accomplish more when you are working together than pulling apart. Ask yourself “What’s one thing I can do to improve our marriage, regardless of what my partner does?” Love is a choice, not a feeling. Love is determined by action or behavior–it will end or go on based on the choices you make. Work on cultivating emotional security, trust, intimacy, communication and fun. Choose every day at least 1 way that you can love your spouse.
Eccl. 4: 9-10:
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.”