10 Signs You’re a People Pleaser: A Guide to Finding Balance

August 10, 2023

Hi, I’m Brittany
I'm a Christian Counselor, Couples Therapist & Christ-Centered Yoga Teacher. 

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Hi Friend! I’m so glad you made it to the blog. Welcome.

In the hustle and bustle of modern life, many of us find ourselves wearing multiple hats—spouse, parent, sibling, friend, employee (or business owner), and devoted follower of Christ. We navigate the delicate balance between these roles, striving to honor our faith and meet the demands of our everyday lives. Yet, amid this journey, it’s not uncommon to wrestle with the relentless companions of stress and anxiety. If you, like many of us, find these burdens too heavy to bear, know that you are not alone.

Amid it all, you may find yourself constantly seeking to please others, often at the expense of your own well-being. As a Christian counselor who has been there, I want to share with you ten signs that you might be a people pleaser, and more importantly, how to find balance, reduce stress, and cultivate a life filled with peace and purpose.

10 Signs You’re a People Pleaser

  1. You Say “Yes” When You Should Say “No”: One of the most common signs of a people pleaser is an inability to say “no” when you’re already stretched thin. Learn to set healthy boundaries that prioritize your well-being.
  1. You Worry About What Others Think: Constantly seeking approval and validation from others can lead to anxiety. Remember that your worth isn’t determined by others’ opinions; it’s rooted in your faith and self-worth.
  1. You Avoid Conflict at All Costs: Conflict avoidance can create pent-up stress and anxiety. Embrace healthy conflict resolution skills and the peace that comes with them.
  1. You Overcommit and Overwork: Busyness can be a mask for people-pleasing tendencies. Find a balance between your roles by learning to prioritize and remember that rest is essential.
  1. You Apologize Excessively: People who struggle with people pleasing often apologize even when it’s not necessary. Practice self-compassion and reserve apologies for genuine mistakes.
  1. You Neglect Self-Care: As a busy person, taking care of yourself might fall to the bottom of the list. Prioritize self-care as an essential part of maintaining your mental and physical health. I promise, it’s not selfish.
  1. You Suppress Your Feelings: Bottling up your emotions to avoid burdening others can lead to emotional stress. It’s okay to express your feelings and seek support when needed.
  1. You Rarely Ask for Help: You don’t have to do it all alone. Seek support from your faith community, family, friends, or a counselor when you need it.
  1. You Compare Yourself to Others: Comparison can rob you of joy and increase anxiety. Focus on your unique journey and the blessings in your life.
  1. You Struggle to Prioritize Your Faith: As a Christian, your faith is your foundation. Don’t let people-pleasing distract you from your spiritual journey. Prioritize your relationship with God and find strength in your faith.

How to Stop People Pleasing

In our journey as people of faith, it’s crucial to remember that living authentically and in alignment with our beliefs doesn’t mean we must constantly bend to the desires of others. To stop the cycle of people-pleasing, we must first recognize that it’s okay to prioritize our own well-being without guilt. Embracing this truth empowers us to set healthy boundaries—safeguarding our time, energy, and emotional reserves. Finding balance in our roles requires conscious effort. It involves saying ‘no’ when necessary, seeking support from our faith community and loved ones, and nurturing our relationship with God through prayer and reflection. As we strengthen our boundaries and cultivate a harmonious balance, we not only honor ourselves but also serve as a shining example of faith and resilience.

I want to remind you that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, cherished by a loving God who desires your well-being and inner peace. While the journey to overcome people-pleasing, set healthy boundaries, and find balance can be challenging, it’s a path worth treading. Remember that your faith is not a burden but a wellspring of strength, and it’s through God’s grace that we can transform our lives.

If you find that the weight of stress and anxiety is still too heavy to bear, I encourage you to seek help. Christian counseling can be a powerful resource on your path to healing and wholeness. Don’t hesitate to reach out to a qualified counselor who shares your faith and values. In their guidance, you may discover new perspectives, strategies, and spiritual insights that will empower you to lead a more fulfilling and joyful life. As you navigate this journey, always hold onto the truth that God’s love and grace are steadfast, and His plans for you are filled with hope and a future. May you find the peace that surpasses all understanding and the strength to live a life in balance, grounded in faith, and free from the burdens of people-pleasing.

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